Firm, But Gentle

The summer after my freshman year in college I accepted a job as a summer camp counselor. During the training for my first experience with groups of children I listened eagerly to find out how to be successful. The trainer told us that discipline should always be firm, but gentle. "Firm, but gentle," I repeated to myself. I've always remembered it.

When I heard that my eight year old grandson was taking lessons in Tae Kwon Do, I was less than enthusiastic. "The last thing he needs to learn is how to hit and kick other people," I groaned to myself. However, the time came when Mom had to work on the weekday of the lessons, and a chauffeur was needed, so I volunteered.

When I picked him up he was wearing a spotless white uniform, and he showed much concern for arriving on time. Some organization and self-discipline in this. Not all bad.

When we arrived, Peter took off his shoes and trotted out onto the matted floor of the studio with the other students. I sank into a chair alongside the other parent types and reached for the book I had brought. As it turned out I was not able to read much during the lesson. Eventually I left the book behind.

The lesson began with participation in the ending of the previous class. The children recited something about truth in the mind, might for right, and leading by example. It coincided with my value system. I liked it. Then Peter's class replaced the outgoing class in front of an orange-haired, powerfully built, quick-moving instructor, Mr. Connor by name. Mr. Connor had a black belt around his waist, carefully tied in the front. He chose a student wearing a yellow belt to signal the formal bow that began the class.

I've been observing this class for several weeks now, and I've begun to wonder if Mr. Connor or someone like him would ever be willing to come and give an inservice for teachers. The class teaches self-discipline and respect for authority in a firm, but gentle manner. Of course, these people have to please the parents enough to make the considerable sacrifice of time and money worthwhile and still make the classes pleasing to the children. A tall order, I think.

The classes demonstrate a high level of multilevel teaching. The main teacher and an assistant teacher guide each student gradually to perfecting various moves. The instructors correct students in a private, positive way and praise improvement at every opportunity. The students learn to respond with a loud "Yes, Sir" to every command. One day, Mr. Connor asked the students if they wanted to play "Mr. Connor Says", which emphasizes following oral instructions. A student with a weakness in that area responded, "No, Sir." Mr. Connor promptly asked the student to sit down and watch the other students play. That student joined the game the following week and won!

Week after week, I've watched weak children gain strength, dreamy students pay attention, uncoordinated kids move smoothly, and rebellious children obey. I no longer bring a book along. I'm much too busy devising ways of applying what I see to classroom teaching. "Firm, but gentle" is still good advice.

Mary Sue Laing, M.Ed.
Resource Teacher, St. Ambrose School
newskill7@msn.com

by Mary Sue Laing, M. Ed., New Skill, Inc. Academic Tutor