Growth and Change

Some very wise person once said that it is insane to do the same things and expect different results. Indeed, if you press the same keyboard sequence, the computer will give you the same screen, no matter how many times you do it. Humans can be slow to absorb this reality sometimes. Most of us have heard children keep on asking for permission long after the first "no" answer has been given. Many of us continue to consume something or do something that we know isn't good for our health, but we hope that we'll get away with doing it anyway and not suffer too many consequences. A friend of mine calls this her "one bad habit" People who do too much of this unrealistic thinking have to wake up in a hospital room or a jail cell before they come to their senses.

All growth involves change. Growth actually is an upward change, by definition. Doing things differently, however, is scary. It's sailing out into deep water. It's bushwhacking through an uncharted jungle. It's setting out across a trackless desert. If we change the way we do things, people may criticize us, or even turn away from us. We might make disastrous decisions and end up in a bad place. We certainly have to leave behind the comfort and satisfaction we derived from our former way of life. Maybe we won't find anything new to replace those things we are so attached to. What then? Can we live without our accustomed comforts? Lifestyle changes are not for the spineless or unmotivated, but, rather, for courageous people who thrill to the challenge of making better choices.

When something isn't going well for us, we need to change. When a person can't keep up with normal activities or a student falls behind in school, it's time to do something. Our minds and bodies naturally give us signals that point to the need for change. Just waiting and hoping that the problem will go away is dangerous. With all the thrills and pills available today it's easy to ignore signals. Numbing emotional and/or physical signs of trouble with overwork, TV, Internet, pills, excitement, or worse is like keeping a finger on a hot stove and taking a sedative to relieve the pain.

Some major growth changes can happen very fast. St. Paul's conversion was like that. Most of us, however, change very slowly. Deep down inside an awareness of the problem begins to grow like a tiny seed of change. We begin to feel a little pressure for change. We might consult a friend or relative at this point, or look up something on the Internet. Slowly we discover the root of the problem and find out a few things to do about it. At this point we have a choice. We can say "Yes, I'll grow and change" or "No thanks, I'm comfortable where I am. I've always been this way. I'll never be any different."

Students who begin learning for the first time in a weak area start learning very, very slowly. Their progress can be almost imperceptible for a long time. Sometimes it's a temptation to give up on them and just let them be. If a student is learning a little every day, however, the student will eventually succeed if efforts continue, no matter how slow the learning rate seems to be. As learning proceeds, the rate becomes faster and faster. Like the tortoise in the story, some students begin their learning journeys very slowly and end up bypassing students who started faster and then became distracted. I've seen that happen many times. Persistence is a strong predictor of success, even when students start like turtles.

Changing, learning, and growing are difficult for children as well as for adults. Students need courage too, especially the slow starters. For many children falling behind the other children is quite a traumatic experience. They begin to fear that they are stupid and will never win the praise and gold stars the other children get. Making an effort to pay attention to material they've never understood day after day takes much courage. A lot of children have that courage, though, especially if they are accompanied by parents and teachers who are willing to walk with them along the uphill wilderness trail.

Readers, please share your thoughts and experiences with me. The comments of many people make this column vibrant and relevant. Contact me at: newskill7@msn.com or call me at: 703-691-0191 (home), or 703-501-9013 (cell). I'm eager to hear from you.

Mary Sue Laing, M.Ed.
Resource Teacher, St. Ambrose School

by Mary Sue Laing, M. Ed., New Skill, Inc. Academic Tutor