Step by Step

Learning is a process for us children of God. Like a baby taking first steps, we learn most things little by little. God knows everything all at once, but we human creatures march through time moment by moment. Whenever we try to skip steps up the learning ladder, we fall down, suffer pain, and have to start all over again. Yet, many of us expect immediate perfection of our children and of ourselves. Perfection is a goal, not a reality, in this life.

Actually, the student who assumes that he has to be perfect, or nearly so, in order to be good at all is at a terrible disadvantage in school. This student is paralyzed by discouragement at the very first hint of difficulty. If a struggle with learning does occur, however, correct practice overcomes the problem. Conversely, incorrect practice forms a bad habit and makes the problem worse. Thus, close supervision of learning and of study habits produces correct practice and good habits right from the beginning.

The participation of parents in the learning process is vitally important. A parent can supervise daily practice at home, so that the student forms good study habits. When the student needs extra practice with academic skills such as letter formation, spelling, multiplication tables, or vocabulary a parent can provide that. A parent is also in a unique position to help the student understand a lesson. A parent can refer to a wealth of shared family memories to help a student comprehend a lesson. A parent can also encourage the student by sharing some struggles from his or her own past. No teacher at school can provide such meaningful, individualized instruction.

Correct practice, step by step, is as important for parents as it is for students. Relating to a child is a process, and every child is different from all the others. Thus, parents have to build a relationship with each child, step by step. All parents are human, and all humans make mistakes, especially in a very complex task like child rearing. Again, as with the student, correct practice overcomes the problem. When a wrong direction is taken, parents have to turn around and return to the right road in the right direction. Unfortunately, in today's society few extended family members or close friends are available to correct wrong directions that parents sometimes take, and the problem becomes very difficult before it's recognized. At a time like this parents have to put aside paralying perfectionistic ideals, get back onto the right road, and start moving ahead again.

As most any grandparent will tell you, children grow up fast. Now is the time to be with them and enjoy them. They'll remember your presence and the good things you did together. Your mistakes will disappear into the past.

A wrong direction that parents can sometimes take, especially with very bright, creative children, is to give them too many answers. More about this next week. Stay tune.

by Mary Sue Laing, M. Ed., New Skill, Inc. Academic Tutor